Day 40 : Don't Look Back in Anger

Sadie -

While I was feeding you tonight, you scared me.

I was burping you, and after a big belch, you started to get angry. (This is normal; it is your current way of telling me you want more to eat.) Usually when you get mad, the cries are loud and sharp, but in this particular instance, you must have been out of breath, and you made a really weird pre-cry sound for a long time. Your mom and I looked at each other in terror, worried that you might be choking or in pain. But once you got the cry out and I got the bottle back to you, everything went back to normal.

"You must have made her really mad!" your mom said.

We call this recent development in your expression "finding your voice." It is an exciting development to watch, but, as this story illustrates, it can also be scary. It is most scary for me to think about how you will continue throughout your life, as you grow older, to "find your voice" and make decisions that I might not always agree with or be able to save you from.

There are sure to be multiple times as you grow into adulthood, when you will get so mad at me over something, that you'll want to scream and yell and scare me like you did tonight. Please just know right now that I am not perfect, but I'll always want only the best for you, even if we might not agree on what that is.

I love you more than you'll be able to imagine - now or then.

- Dad

Day 39 : Wakey, Wakey

S.R. -

The favorite part of my day recently has been the early morning moment when I get to rescue you from your crib and get you dressed for the day. As much I as I know I love you, seeing you squirming, waiting to welcome the day makes me feel like I could never love you enough.

Your body wakes up before your eyes open, so you usually still look asleep when I get you up, but you have been crying for some time. And though you look a little put off at being pulled out of the warmth of your blanket, there is always a moment when your cries soften and I get to hold you close and say "Good Morning!"

It is great to start each day knowing that no matter what I have to deal with when I leave the house, you will be waiting for me when I get home. I love you and your mom SOOO much!

- Dad

Day 38 : Turning Japanese

Sadie -

You got to go on your first visit to a Japanese restaurant with your mom and I this evening. We met our friends Michael and Maren at an oriental eatery so we could consume sushi together. (Well, you actually had your milk, but the rest of us had sushi!)

You were very well-behaved at the dinner table, eating your food, then politely sitting quietly while the rest of us ate. Of course, after we'd had dinner, your mom and I and Maren wanted to take turns playing with you. The owner of the restaurant and several waitresses came by the table to look at how cute you are. I was so proud to be able to hold you up and call you mine.

The restaurant owner said that her daughter learned to use chopsticks before she learned to walk. Hey, there is something to strive for!

I love having meals with you!

- Dad

Day 37 : Growing

Sadie -

I was late getting home tonight because I went to a funeral visitation after work. An old childhood friend of mine lost his dad last week, and I went by to see him and his family in this hard time.

As sad as the atmosphere was, people couldn't help but smile when they asked about you. I, of course, had a picture to flash in front of everyone who wanted to see it (and even some who didn't!)

It was a weird experience because I hadn't seen many of these people since I was a kid myself, and here I was showing off a picture of my child.

My friend's mother had this to say: "Just wait until your kid and all the kids she grew up with become adults and start having children...THAT'S weird!"

Don't grow up too fast, babydoll.

- Dad

Day 36 : Dancing Queen

Sadie –

It was hard for me to be away from you and go back to work today after the long weekend we all had together. I called your mom late this morning to check on you two, and near the end of our conversation I could hear you making noise from your crib. I had to wonder if you missed me like I missed you. Your mom said that though she sometimes gets lonely after a full week with me at work, she was excited about having a lot of one-on-one time with you today. She played with you lots and told me that she even got you to dance when she played a silly tune on your playtime mat. I am jealous that I missed that!

- Dad

Day 35 : Oh, Sleeper!

Sadie –

You’ve literally slept the day away. You slept through most of church, our trip to Wal-Mart, and a pizza party at Grandma’s. No matter how hard your mom and I have tried to keep you awake, you keep dozing off. And now, it’s almost midnight and I’ve just returned from going to see a band play with your Uncle Joel, and when I poke my head in to check on you, you are quiet and peaceful, but your eyes are wide open!

Later in your life, I’ll expect you to want to stay up late with us grown-ups, but tonight, we all need to sleep. Keep quiet and close your eyes, baby girl!
I love you!

- Dad

Day 34 : Christmas Cheer

Sadie -

You now live in a very festive residence. Your mom has spent a lot of today pulling boxes out of storage, assembling Christmas trees, and hanging (VERY) over sized stockings.

Christmas is a favorite holiday of ours and we are excited to share it with you. The time will come when we'll tell you the whole story of why we celebrate and we'll induct you into all of our traditions. But for right now, just know that the next month will be filled with lots of lights and love (and most likely, some pretty cheesy movies)!

You are wearing your "Kiss Me, I'm Cute" outfit and you just fell asleep on my shoulder.

I love you more every second!

- Dad